I had a make a decision this week. A commitment. I needed to pull the trigger on whether I was going to commit to hosting a January Desire Map Workshop here in St Louis. I had set this date months ago when it felt like 2015 wasn't really around the corner and I told myself "By then I'll be totally ready for this." Totally.
I recently got through hosting my first E-Course and the feedback was outstanding (you can sign up to get it for free by clicking here). It was a nice win for me and I got more exposure in my business. But this Desire Map Workshop date was looming over me and the fear mixed with procrastination was settling in. For the past few weeks when I was busy with consults and building the E-Course, the thought of the Desire Map Workshop date would come up and I'd tell myself, not a big deal I'll postpone the date and it'll be fine. But it didn't feel fine. It felt like I was running away from getting started on something that could potentially make me feel vulnerable and exposed in a new way.
The more I thought about whether to follow through with the workshop, the more I felt the fear strangling me. I finally got to a very unproductive 45 minutes where I was sitting at my desk... staring from my to-do list back to my desktop... and nothing was getting accomplished. I realized I was fighting feeling the fear, so I decided to let my mind really go there. That is when the break through happened. I opened the flood gates and gave my inner dialogue free reign to shit all over my afternoon. I allowed myself to feel the uncertainty and ask the painful "what ifs" and exhaust every possibility of ever scenario I could control. I took the rest of the day off and just sat with the darkness of uncertainty if I would pull the trigger on this decision or not. It wasn't fun, but I needed to process what was going on if I was going to move forward.
I didn't know if this was helpful until I started to respond to the fear and things were starting to feel clear. I started to ask myself after each fear - what's the worst that can happen? What is the most uncomfortable, career damaging, absolutely embarrassing, WORST thing that could happen? And then the responses started coming...not much; a few valid points but nothing so horrific I can't recover. The absolutely worst case scenarios weren't that bad, and that felt good.
Then, I felt fine. Refreshed even. I had the clarity to get through the next milestone. The loud fear and procrastination softened to a mild buzz and I could finally hear myself think and get back to work.
Our fear is there to challenge us - to make sure we are pushing ourselves to the boundary of uncomfortable so we can come out the other side in a better place than where we started. Feel your fears, respect your fears and then go accomplish your big goals anyway.