What is a Modern Priestess?
For years I have danced with this Priestess archetype of divine service both enraptured by the remembering and sickened by her shadow.
The Priestess. A lofty title to resurrect. Why do it? Why hold on to this and continue to work at it? Especially after I think I’ve declared more than once, that this is now NOT part of my path. I prefer a pioneer, an artist, or a Mother. Why keep dancing with the Modern Priestess?
Honestly it’s because I don’t know how to really do anything else that makes me feel as alive as this. It’s is through my freedom as an artist to continue to carve out my own definitions in clay that never seems to harden into anything concrete. The flow of expression is forevermore and this is the mystery I choose to explore. The mysteries of Priestess path and remembering my sacred lineage of personal connection and further ALLOWING that to come through my body and my Life in very real ways.
A lot of programming that will show me to be perceived as over sexual, self-centered, trying to be perfect, trying to preach or using my power in the form of manipulation and service to self. I’ve dabbled in all of these shadows and more. These projections are no longer choking me with the same strength. I’m feeling my Lioness stride and pride and courage because I know what I have survived.
I have become calloused with experience within this realm of service to myself and service to others. I have been the manipulator, the abandoner (because I knew just how much would hurt her), the perfect priestess, the power hungry sister. Competitive. I have been the control freak. I have been the emancipated and starving woman who seems to be losing her mind and can’t take a break from her own identity crisis to eat a meal. And I thought it was glamorous in a way.
I’ve had so many shadows work their way through my body that I have new and steady ways of light work. I’ve seen the body of Osiris, my King, my everything, broken apart at my feet and taken courage to put my world back together piece by piece because no one else around me held the specific magick that I did. I had to go within and remember for myself and not seek the approval or the next steps from anyone outside of myself. These are not moments for every day living, but this is what I call an initiation. The most profound and powerful moments of walking through the gates of initiation have been alone. And I am grateful.
This may seem like such a dramatic story to take on as a personal narrative - but when we are faced with the choice of life, or the choice to stop living these are very really experiences that are difficult to explain without the epochs of ancient lineages for me to refer to.
My body craves the expression of the Goddess once more. The ultimate freedom of allowing the primal divinity to flow through me. Freedom to be so fully in my truth that the lies around me are caught in the flames of my spirit and burn to the ground. The freedom to be with ALL of myself.
After taking time to integrate the reality of Life post initiation, I can feel a love and liberty that wants to flow through me.
This is my self initiated and sovereign expression of who I am as a Priestess. The modern, and sometimes messy, Priestess.