I remember walking to my car in the freezing cold on my college campus after one of my first conversations with Ben. "I’m going to marry that man” I said it out loud because I intuitively knew the power of my voice being spoken aloud. With that I activated my manifestation into my reality. Nine months later Ben proposed on 9.9.2009. Nine months after that in June 2010 we were married.
It was very normal for me to have such intense intuitive information about the path of my life even when I didn’t understand it. I didn’t understand at the time why I knew I would marry Ben, other than I just knew. I also knew there was going to be some time before we could fully see each other beyond our physical bodies. Somehow I knew that would be OK too. I had so much trust in our relationship and in who he was at his purest state. Many times, over many years, I felt as though I could see past a veil that was covering his awareness. This was incredibly difficult and lonely most of the time as I was experiencing the longing for my soul to be seen.
It was so difficult and so lonely that I would keep myself distracted in many ways - I will go into the details of this part of my story in our sacred partnership course. I could only push Ben as far as he was willing to go. And when I could see he wasn’t ready to go further, I would retreat into my own heart and strategy, and sometimes confusion at how he didn’t see or experience this reality in the ways I did. I looked outside of our relationship for answers, connection and the spark of romance. But I deeply only wanted this with Ben. I deeply only wanted him to want this with me.
After years of questioning whether I had made the wrong decision or if my intuition was still right - I saw the opportunity to have a conversation that would ultimately give Ben a choice to move forward with me in my fullest truth and authenticity, or not. It was a warm spring evening and I had just put our baby to bed. It was days before my birthday. I decided I needed a once and for all commitment to be spiritual partners or not. And I was ready for the answer to be "no" but all I could do was be in my truth and ask for exactly what I needed. I knew I would need him to step up to the relationship to help me define it, or maybe the better word is remember why we had put in all of these years together.
After he took the time and reflection he needed, I felt his heart open and I knew he was ready for our spiritual partnership and journey. It was a very tender time for Ben and I did my best to navigate his awakening with gentleness and grace. I did my best to honor his pace and I started to feel the growth accelerating between us. It was as if a snowball had started falling down a mountain collecting weight and momentum. My prayer for a relationship accelerating in spiritual growth was on.
This has yet to slow down for us and our relationship isn't perfect, but we’ve truly found the deep honor and respect for one another I knew was possible when I first met him. I know the commitment we have made to one another within the agreement to embody Christ Consciousness in this lifetime is rare. I hope that by sharing our story, our perspective, you will be empowered to create the partnership that sustains your largest request for heaven on earth that you can imagine.